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Author: stanzhao1
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Looking back now it makes me laugh, how much time I had wasted as a child. Growing up in Tsumei village I was too blind to see what was happening around me. How the world was changing right under my nose.
My father was one of the guards protecting our small farming community. Growing up he had always worked non stop to help make ends meet after my mother died. She was murdered by a group of crimson skull after refusing to give them what little food we had left. I was only 5 months old when this happened, I never even got to know the woman who brought me into this world.
20 years had passed since my mother had died and I was a budding young farmer, my mother would have been proud of me I’m sure. I had her striking white hair so my father told me, but then he always said I ran like a girl. So I never knew when to believe what he said. Yup, life sure was sweet back then, I didn’t have a care in the world.
That was until one day my father came running up to me, “right” he bellowed “Your going to join the Canthian Guard, I’m sick of you lazing around in fields picking flowers all day”.
I looked at him in confusion, “But dad…”,
“No buts” he interrupted. “Your joining. The crimson skull are getting stronger everyday and its your duty to serve and protect the royal family, just like me”.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, he had never spoken to me like that before. He had this look in his eyes that suggested he wasn’t sure what he was saying, like it was something he had been forced to do.
“Dad I don’t want join, I don’t want to use a sword and shield, all that violence won’t solve a thing”
“Of course it will, see this flower” he pointed his sword at it then took one huge swipe. “KYAH!” the flower had been sliced in half “See, no more flower, problem solved”
“But there never was a problem, your just being a froob”
He looked at me with disgust, as if I had just tried to take a thousand punches and flurry them all towards his groin.
“…If…If you don’t join your banished from my house and I never want to see you again”
I slowly turned and started to run, I felt like crying, I didn’t want to be here, and if he didn’t want me then I had no choice but to leave. As I ran I heard my father shout “Stan Xiang”
I stopped and turned in hope this was all some sort of jest, a cruel joke.
He raised his sword high in the air, took a deep breath and shouted at the top of his lungs “STOP RUNNING LIKE A DAMN GIRL”
I turned and continued running in the same girlish manner.
After 4 days of walking and running like a girl I managed to get to the harbour and sneak on board a ship going to the mainland. I had no idea what I was going to do when I got there. I was sure something would turn up. I was sleeping rough. Sharing food I had found with the other people around me. Living each day in a daze just trying to get by, wondering where it all went wrong. I spent many a night thinking about returning home, trying to talk to my father, reasoning with him. Maybe things had changed, maybe it was all just a moment of madness. The fact is I was scared, I was scared to move. I didn’t want to go any further in case I got lost and didn’t know where to go next. I was too afraid to go home and face my father, to feel his wrath.
I spent the next 3 months living in and around the harbour, stealing what I could, doing odd jobs and favours for people just to get a meal once every couple of days. After looking around me I began to wonder why so many people followed the monastery with all its wealth and support, and wondered why there were so many people living in poverty around them. Why weren’t they helping us? All the time I spent in the slums I never saw anyone from the monastery visiting. I was so desperate for money at this point I did a few things I cant even mention and would rather forget as soon as I could.
One day I found myself walking through the sums when I was approached by a woman. She stood in front of me and blocked my path.
“Look lady, I’m not interested, I’m past all that”
She smiled, I took another look at her. She obviously wasn’t from around here, her clothes were clean and her make-up smart. Her hair was tied in a bun and her posture suggested she was from and army type background. Straight back and hands at the side. No slouching or tired aching body like mine.
“Your hair” she said, “It’s the most beautifully striking colour I have ever seen”
“Thanks“, I blushed. “I got it from my mother apparently, she uh… died when I was young, so I never actually saw her.”
“I’m sorry to hear”
“That’s ok, how can I help you? You Lost?”
“Sort of” she replied, “I need some help, I am looking for a sprightly young man to run errands for me. Someone who knows there way around here, they will be paid of course”
My eyes widened. This could be the break I was looking for, the light at the end of the tunnel.
“Well I can always help you out” I thought I sounded too eager, “Ya know… if I’m not busy, sometimes”
“Wonderful” she grabbed me by the arm and started dragging me off, “Right, well lets get started shall we.”
I felt nervous all of a sudden, as if this was somehow a bad idea
“See that guy over there, he owes me a lot of money, and of course it hasn’t been paid, I need you to teach him a lesson”
“What?” I knew this was a bad idea, I had been dragged into something I was now regretting
“Quick, take this” She placed a dagger in my hands “Use it”. She pushed me forward, what was I doing? This was crazy, I turned and looked at this lady. Only 5 minutes ago had I met her and now I was going to murder someone. I looked at the guy up ahead. Was I going to do this? Was the money really worth it? I had been a mess for the past 3 months. The adrenaline was building up inside me.
“Quickly” she said “Hurry up or I’ll kill you myself”. I shut my eyes took a deep breath and ran towards this stranger. I held out the dagger and just ran. I felt the blade hit something, I didn’t want to look.
I opened my eyes and there was the man looking back at me, the pain on his face. What had I just done?
He fell to the ground and blood poured from his side. The lady came and stood next to me, I couldn’t look at her, I just stood there frozen and gazing at the mess I had just created.
“There, that wasn’t so bad was it”
She placed a small pouch in my hand that.
“Payment” she said. “400g enough?”
I didn’t answer
“Fine, I’ll call that a yes, now lets get you some new clothes”
I was so shaken I could hardly talk, she walked me round the town and bought me new clothes and talked to me about herself. I found out she was quite high up in an organization called the Kurzicks. I let her do most of the talking as I was still in shock at the time. She said she would take me back to where she came from one day. She said it was deep in the forest and a hard place to get to. The next year was a bit of a blur for me. I continued getting money working and running errands, over time it got easier and murder became something that wasn’t so alien to me. I got paid and that was what kept me going back. She always told me it was “Kill or be killed”. those words have never left me.
And here I am today, Living a life of crime in the slums. I hope one day to return to Tsumei Village. I can only hope that my father will greet me with open arms. If not… as the saying goes…
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