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The story of 4.

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maddog199 Profile

Author: maddog199
View Profile of maddog199

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4 Comments
This is the story of 4 people living from day to day. By this filosofy they got up in more then one adventure.
This is the first episode in many too come counting on the Gameamp community.
------------------------------------------------------------

They we're resting after a hard encounter with some Jadebrotherhood after they ''ask'' for some ''support'' in
their on going struggle against the Am Fah and the Canthaan Empire. After a friendly but ferm ''no!''by Cole,
they got a little ruder and pult out a sharp axe saying:''We don't want accident's to happen do we...''
He replied sharp with:''That's why you should leave''. After hearing this the Commander charged in on them with
The axe raised highly above his head. This move was both stupid and deadly at the same time. Becose his
defence was so widely open the Ranger hitted him point blank. At the dead of their commander they we're
agrresiver then ever. Both the Mage and the Ritualist was summoning a powerfull spell in return to the arrow.
But the Mage didn't see the Mesmer lurcing for the right moment and so he was punish with a powerfull spike.
In return he yelled out a big cry of frustration that his spell was cancel leaving him shatterd on the ground.
But the Ritualist with him wasn't so easily defeated by the protection of his Spirits and the power of his
Weaponspells he counter their attacks and ultimately hitting them unconscious. Leaving the Monk,
the Ranger and the Mesmer open to finish them. But suddenly he was hit in the back by a Black fireball.
Turning around he looked at a face burned at the leftside. The Elemantist made ready a last fireball to finish him off
the Ritualist still staring in demise at the Scar.

When the the party woke up they we're laying next too. The unknown elemantist who was starring at
a Black but enlighting fire. Several question popd into their mind ranging from''Who's he?'' too ''What happend to his face?''.
As allways the Ranger shuffled towards him beginning his almost famous opening line: ''Hey i'm Cole Marcshot, my arrows
are as quick as an eagle but my tong is even faster''. At this the Elemantist made a huge grin saying:''Greetings, i'm Dante
Helmdorm''. ''Nice to meet, the Mesmer is Eva Farscream and well the monk name's we don't know'' ''How is that possible?''
said Dante. ''He is a Ronin a travelling monk withouta master we picked him up way back but he was sworn a Oath of Silence
for 3 years''answerd Eva, ''interesting, how do you guy's communicate with him?''. ''Technigly we don't'' replied Cole:
'' if he needs anything he comes too ous, although he also give notes but that is more then rare.''

After the first contact they went back too a place known as ''The Marketplace''. Dante promised that it was safe from
those Am Fah and The Jadebrotherhood: ''It is too busy their, too many people roaming around.'' along the route Cole found out
how Dante burned his face. At the young age of 16 he wanted too attend too a Sacred Ceremony every year made by his
Village. Although he was too young an uncle of him let him watch at the warning not to say anything:'' These old warrior have
great pride and honour they will not stand that a young boy say anything''. During a match the possible winner cheats
by boosting his power with an artifact, what is strictly forbidden, although he was right the warrior wanted respect and challenge
him to an Agni Kai a Fire duel who diside's who is right and wrong. Although Dante fought bravely sending not only for his young
strong fireball's and phoenix's at his foe, the warrior is far more experienced and while Dante is on the floor gets a impressive flare
direct in the face. He was banished ffrom his village by this and has wanderd over more then one World. By doing this he hope's too
become powerfull enuf too get his right over the warrior's fauld. In one off the world he learnd how too create much hotter and deadlier
Black Fire an powerfull art in Fire Magic. This both requires skill and discipline and a strong stance.

By the time the story is done Eva, Dante, Cole and Ronin reach The Marketplace safely.

The End...
------------------------------------------------------------I drew my inspiration from more then one thing, both GW and other things have bin evolved into this.
(Next time i'll give more detail into Cole, Eva and Ronin but i first wanted to introduce Dante for he was allready nicely worked out).

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User Comments
  maddog199 on 09/05/06 16:10

You can clearly see that this was my first Article. I will need some more practise before heading on too part 2 if their even comes another.

  hayashi on 09/05/06 21:23

Yep, there are a bit too many grammatical and spelling errors that made reading difficult. The formatting also messed up even though it's not your fault. Also by your first comment, it seems you didn't like the story much, so that was a bit of an discouragement for me too.

With the mean stuff out of the way, I think the story idea isn't bad. I think you just worry too much about writing as opposed to telling the story. Imagine a campfire and you're telling a story to a bunch of five year olds. I'm one of them; and Im dying to hear about a story about four adventurers and their clashes with the Am Fah and the Jades.



  maddog199 on 09/06/06 06:08

I was actually heading out into the clashes with the comments that i guesd would happen, i liked writting it. i would write it again. i want too keep writting more chapters. i just thoughd that maybe Gameampcommunity wouldn't get into part 2 anymore

  SneakyMonkey on 09/06/06 17:04

Please come out with another one! The grammar and spelling wasn't great, but that is the only real complaint I can put out there.

As far as people liking it, that's their problem. I submitted the second part of my story yesterday even though, oh, seven people actually read it. Submit them and they WILL come!

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