Author: Ataxia
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If your like me and over 4 million players in this game you suck. That means you ask your friends/guildies/alliance members for help, alot.
This guide will help you leech off good, real players and get titles, that you can then show off to your other bad friends and have them ask you for help you wont be able to give :)
Step One: The Pro
The most important part of this, is finding someone who is consistently online, playing and doing hard mode missions (Heck even some normal mode stuff every now and then you probably need it.)
This person should be in your alliance or preferably your guild so that you have easy access to them. An officer is a good choice because that way you can ask them for tips and help without looking like a begger. They get kicked from most guilds do not get marked as one of these, otherwise your plans will be ruined.
So for the sake of this I'll be using a fake name for our pro, lets call him Bob Spearman. He has KoaBD on 2 characters and many lether bound books on his monk.
Step Two: Making Yourself Look Good
One major problem you have, is that even if you can get playing with Bob, after one mission he'll know you suck and hate you. Possibly even ignore you.
You need to get better, even if just a little bit. One thing that can get you a long ways is PvX Wiki, check under General, Great, then go find some good builds for your class. The next thing to do is get the PvE only skill called Ursan Blessing the quest to get this skill is from Hogni Truthseeker. It should be easy enough to beat even you can do it! This is a very powerful skill and with it, makes any class (even a... "mesmer") useful.
Once you've gotten some of these builds down and have a good Ursan build, move onto the next step.
Step Three: The First Mission
Now you should have some more basic knowledge of the game things like "pull" and "flag heros here" a good first mission to do is Vizunah Square (Cantha), Pogahn Passage (Elona) or Sanctum Cay (Tyria)
You wait until Bob is doing one of these (or something like them) and then just whisper them "I'll brt" and get going, don't be late this is your big chance, run what he asks you to run on heros, if they ask you to change something in their builds, do so if you don't have the skill just say "Sorry don't have ____, is there anything else I can take?"
Looking like you can learn is a good thing to do, even if you can't.
If you mess up at any stage during the mission, wait about 4-7 seconds then say it wasn't you. Unless you were about 10 aggro bubbles away and your the guy bringing the monks, Then its best to go "sorry, auto run =".
Step Four: The Long Haul
If everything goes according to plan, you'll have a spot in most runs, if possible, when him running something hard and your being lazy that day just don't go, and TELL Bob you don't want to go (Just something like "naa not atm" very simple and fast.), that way you'll look less dependent on them, if possible do a really easy mission on hard mode yourself, like Gates of Kryta or The Great Northern Wall.
You'll most likely start to talk to Bob's friends too, make sure to treat them just like you would him, they probably aren't as far into their titles as him, but like almost all good players, better then you so don't mess with them.
Some tips:
1. Don't rage, when you rage you look like a total retard, you'll leave your group thinking "WTF?" and they might not want to group with you again.
2. If you have some RL money around, buy the skill packs (Nightfall skills are most important, EotN ones are a waste.), you'll be able to run more builds this way and most people will prefer to run with someone they know can run lots of different builds.
Hopefully this has helped you, and hopefully you've been able to understand it. See you in GW2 when everyone but the 12 year olds n00bs who don't know its a sequel are the only ones with no HoM toys ;D.
For those of you with no sense of humor, or don't know a good page of a sarcasm when you see one, this is a joke artical. Have a good day =).
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